SHE WAS LESBIAN WICCA
(My Sunglasses Were Burger King)
I.
She was lesbian Wicca
My sunglasses were Burger King
This would pose a challenge
To our church retreat fling.
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Our plan was to convert
This witch Baptist
Mine was to baptize her
So we could have a trust.
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II.
My tastes run to girls, too
And Christian evangelism
But it was my sense of fashion
That caused a major schism.
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She mixed me up a potion
That smelled of formaldehyde
So from the sun's blinding rays
I'd no longer need to hide.
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III.
Breaking my addiction
To Burger King design
Required all of Saturday
Leaving precious little time.
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To work my own magic
A deviously sly trick
To break her sad addiction
To Sisters of the Wick.
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IV.
Sunday would be our big day
For converting the heathens
By dunking them in water
We'd pave their way to Heaven.
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When came my witch's turn
To bathe in holy water
It took the entire church
To hold her body under.
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She screamed to Holy Jesus!
Swallowed by fire and brimstone
I found myself much aroused
As the Devil took her home.
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V.
I think of her quite often
As I'm staring at the sun
Where would my life be
Without her magic potion?
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