THE MENNONITE ANGLE
There once was a time I thought I had knocked
This living the life star-spangled
But there was an item hopelessly blocked
Just one thing that I could not wangle.
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The minor issue of finding a chick
One who's not way too new-fangled
All of my angling had yet turned the trick
In this land where Nature gets mangled.
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Each and every American girl
With whom I've been entangled
Maintained an air of Queen of the World
In spite of the charms that I dangled.
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I knew that with a mail-order bride
Big Yankee dollars I'd jangle
But then, for sure, with one year stateside
She'd go completely star-spangled.
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The chance remained for monastic vows
To hear church bells hourly jangled
Losing my life in devotional bows
My manhood an appendage that dangled.
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Instead God sent me a masterful angler
From a land where everything's wangled
He knew that just a world-class wrangler
My love life could have untangled.
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Lured to America by Hollywood flicks
That fueled his own dreams star-spangled
It took him but one round with our chicks
To realize how sadly they're mangled.
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"They'd never act this way in Italy!"
He cried, aghast at these women new-fangled
"If they behaved with such importunity
They would by their mothers be strangled!"
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That's when he spied tame pastel-frocked lasses
Singing with brass bells a-jangle
How better they seemed then that which passes
For women in outfits star-spangled.
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Without heading home he returned to his roots
That of a masterful wangler
To find himself a suitable toots
He'd re-emerge as an Old World angler.
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"Like foxes set loose in glorious henhouse
With such angels we must entangle
The only way to snag a real spouse
Is to work the Mennonite Angle!"
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