AN IDIOT CHASE
If a personnel agent at State|
Fired a pistol into the air
Using Ambassador as the bait
I'd be willing to take the dare.
You would leave the starting block clean|
Sticking hard-fast to your lane
I would bemusedly take in the scene
Wondering at this process arcane.
To make you blast off like a rocket|
They would set loose a wild-eyed hare
You would tear after it like a whippet
With all speed and savoir faire.
As a spectator I'd be perspiring|
Just watching you try to keep the pace
My thoughts would be all on retiring
Without even entering the race.
That wild hare had been chased before|
By no lesser a man than my Father
Who made the race a Holy War
The effect on his children no bother.
Though developing great expertise|
In-depth experience in a region
The short list proved but a tease
To the unworthy would go the promotion.
The Iron Curtain was crashing down|
But diplomatic skill proved worthless
Better to look good in a gown
The post went to a child-star actress.
They sent him instead to an island|
Where man-eating Natives ate his dreams
He'd been running with a carnivorous band
Only now it came apart at the seams.
Tossed once more ashore State-side|
After he'd captured his wild-eyed hare
All further career hopes died
With the man-eaters he found there.
Combining the ends of Communism|
With the deadly tactics of Hitler
This new lipstick-smeared high-heeled '-ism'
Hatefully sent in its Grim Reaper.
"You've got two problems," she blithely said:|
"You are male and you are white"
So this is what his hare-chasing fed
Panty-hosed discriminatory might.
In my father's intense quest for wild hare|
In his carnivorous rise to the top
He stole our lives without a care
In the race we were the weights he dropped.
Tossed post-to-post like wayward flotsam|
Less valued even than boxed linen
We became like castaway jetsam
His ambitions killing his children.
For to plant a child newly then uproot him|
In debilitating two-year growth spurts
Is to kill each time New Life within
Each death a lifelong unhealed hurt.
When Mother wanted out of the game|
Seeing her husband as an evil predator
His monomania led him to proclaim
"Now I'll never make ambassador!"
Just as that Agency stole my life|
And fueled the Hell fires of my father
It returns with raised bloody knife
To steal my best chance to recover.
If you persist in this idiot race|
This fool's errand for an empty prize
I'll join you in your idiot chase
Just to expose these delusions in disguise.
I won't join you down on the track|
No compromise to Suits will I make
In my favor the cards will I stack
The quickest route to the prize will I take.
I'll start out as a used-car salesman|
Peddling cars for more than they're worth
Despite the lofty commission
I'll be viewed as the scum of the Earth.
But they'll soon promote me to new cars|
Hot Porsches in a spiffy showroom
From there an easy launch to the stars
To the top quickly I'll zoom.
Once I've landed my own dealership|
The money tills are going "Ka-ching!"
I'll be ready to play my victory chip
And snatch what you idiots are chasing.
The aims of those well-creased collars|
Sweaty from decades-long exertion
Can be purchased for a few thousand dollars
Of well-placed campaign contribution.
The Career Man gets the worst post|
Third World embassies serve as his home
But the car dealer becomes the toast
Of London and Paris and Rome.
With my victory my Father's career|
Rife with deadly ambition and lies
To the World will finally appear
An idiot chase for an idiot prize.