AN IDIOT CHASE
If a personnel agent at State
Fired a pistol into the air
Using Ambassador as the bait
I'd be willing to take the dare.
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You would leave the starting block clean
Sticking hard-fast to your lane
I would bemusedly take in the scene
Wondering at this process arcane.
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To make you blast off like a rocket
They would set loose a wild-eyed hare
You would tear after it like a whippet
With all speed and savoir faire.
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As a spectator I'd be perspiring
Just watching you try to keep the pace
My thoughts would be all on retiring
Without even entering the race.
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That wild hare had been chased before
By no lesser a man than my Father
Who made the race a Holy War
The effect on his children no bother.
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Though developing great expertise
In-depth experience in a region
The short list proved but a tease
To the unworthy would go the promotion.
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The Iron Curtain was crashing down
But diplomatic skill proved worthless
Better to look good in a gown
The post went to a child-star actress.
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They sent him instead to an island
Where man-eating Natives ate his dreams
He'd been running with a carnivorous band
Only now it came apart at the seams.
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Tossed once more ashore State-side
After he'd captured his wild-eyed hare
All further career hopes died
With the man-eaters he found there.
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Combining the ends of Communism
With the deadly tactics of Hitler
This new lipstick-smeared high-heeled '-ism'
Hatefully sent in its Grim Reaper.
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"You've got two problems," she blithely said:
"You are male and you are white"
So this is what his hare-chasing fed
Panty-hosed discriminatory might.
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In my father's intense quest for wild hare
In his carnivorous rise to the top
He stole our lives without a care
In the race we were the weights he dropped.
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Tossed post-to-post like wayward flotsam
Less valued even than boxed linen
We became like castaway jetsam
His ambitions killing his children.
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For to plant a child newly then uproot him
In debilitating two-year growth spurts
Is to kill each time New Life within
Each death a lifelong unhealed hurt.
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When Mother wanted out of the game
Seeing her husband as an evil predator
His monomania led him to proclaim
"Now I'll never make ambassador!"
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Just as that Agency stole my life
And fueled the Hell fires of my father
It returns with raised bloody knife
To steal my best chance to recover.
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If you persist in this idiot race
This fool's errand for an empty prize
I'll join you in your idiot chase
Just to expose these delusions in disguise.
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I won't join you down on the track
No compromise to Suits will I make
In my favor the cards will I stack
The quickest route to the prize will I take.
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I'll start out as a used-car salesman
Peddling cars for more than they're worth
Despite the lofty commission
I'll be viewed as the scum of the Earth.
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But they'll soon promote me to new cars
Hot Porsches in a spiffy showroom
From there an easy launch to the stars
To the top quickly I'll zoom.
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Once I've landed my own dealership
The money tills are going "Ka-ching!"
I'll be ready to play my victory chip
And snatch what you idiots are chasing.
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The aims of those well-creased collars
Sweaty from decades-long exertion
Can be purchased for a few thousand dollars
Of well-placed campaign contribution.
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The Career Man gets the worst post
Third World embassies serve as his home
But the car dealer becomes the toast
Of London and Paris and Rome.
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With my victory my Father's career
Rife with deadly ambition and lies
To the World will finally appear
An idiot chase for an idiot prize.
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