I once met a man named Sasquatch
He broke into camp while I was asleep at my watch
Janey didn't believe in him, but now she does
She believes in him now and that's because
Science demands observable data.

He smelled of sulphur and his coat was thick
I could tell in an instant he had a really stiff prick
Janey didn't know it, but that's what she needed
If only the reports of his existence she had heeded
In her quest for observable data.

He broke for her tent before I could warn her
I just caught a glimpse of his departing fur
She would soon have observable data . .

My friend Janey is a scientist
Which means she doesn't believe in anything
She'll tell you she's a nihilist
She thinks everything comes to nothing.

Scientists live in a godless world
Grey matter for them is the source of all good
'Show us the facts!' is their banner unfurled
The matter of Bigfoot is much misunderstood
Yes, the matter of Bigfoot is much misunderstood.

All of a sudden from Janey's tent I hear a big scream
Not like from a nightmare, more like in a dream
I could tell by the commotion she got what she needed
What they say about big feet had left her well-seeded
And we'll soon have observable data.

Now she grows bigger and bigger with each passing day
All as a result of her primordial lay
To think prior to she didn't believe in Sasquatch
Now one of his kiddies one day soon she will hatch
And we'll call him 'Observable Data'.

In a scientist's world there's no room for love
All things must be explained
No power shining down from above
Emotional excesses must all be restrained . .

But this is a scientist who's now changed her mind
Love grows inside her like a tomato
She's had a conversion of the scientific kind
Since her encounter with observable data.

I don't know if I should mention the extant Plesiosaur
A romp with him might leave her too sore
The Loch Ness Monster might not make such a good papa
Besides, I'm sure Janey's had it with observable data.


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