KILLER EYES
(female vocal)
We all filed into the jury box
After our long deliberation
I'd dolled myself up like quite the fox
Dressed to kill as the jury foreman.
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How he spotted me I cannot say
Did he glimpse my red mini skirt?
Or perhaps the inadvertent way
I unbuttoned my see-through shirt.
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They should have kept an eye on that man
Like the one he was keeping on me
He was making me his biggest fan
Hoping madly I might set him free.
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I didn't think it a hopeless plea
Despite their mound of evidence
The secret weapon he was using on me
Could prove a masterful defense.
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CHORUS
Killer eyes
Killer eyes
He's got those sweet killer eyes
He never even came near me
But he murdered me with those killer eyes.
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They found his bloody murder weapon
DNA placed him at the scene
He hoped his savior from extinction
Would be the town's biggest drama queen.
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I knew if I sent him to death row
I'd kill off my one chance for romance
If he should die I never would know
The true love they know only in France.
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The judge asked if we'd reached a decision
The courtroom fell into a hush
"Yes sir!" I cried "after a fashion"
With no way to hide my blush.
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Just as I was sure I would crumble
My beloved killer glared at me
All of jurisprudence he humbled
As he became the Powers that Be.
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"So, how do you find the defendant"
He asked, "innocent or guilty?"
The pause was noticeably pregnant
As I pondered my civic duty.
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"Eleven of these fine citizens
Voted for the death penalty
But I intend to vote my conscience . .
Killer Eyes, will you marry me?"
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Pandemonium shook the courthouse
The defendant winked at me
The prosecution called me a louse
The bailiff set my fiancé free.
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We eloped to West Virginia
Where they understand this sort of thing
They didn't even "ooh and ahh"
When we got knives at the wedding.
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