(female vocal)

We all filed into the jury box
After our long deliberation
I'd dolled myself up like quite the fox
Dressed to kill as the jury foreman.

How he spotted me I cannot say
Did he glimpse my red mini skirt?
Or perhaps the inadvertent way
I unbuttoned my see-through shirt.

They should have kept an eye on that man
Like the one he was keeping on me
He was making me his biggest fan
Hoping madly I might set him free.

I didn't think it a hopeless plea
Despite their mound of evidence
The secret weapon he was using on me
Could prove a masterful defense.

Killer eyes
Killer eyes
He's got those sweet killer eyes
He never even came near me
But he murdered me with those killer eyes.

They found his bloody murder weapon
DNA placed him at the scene
He hoped his savior from extinction
Would be the town's biggest drama queen.

I knew if I sent him to death row
I'd kill off my one chance for romance
If he should die I never would know
The true love they know only in France.

The judge asked if we'd reached a decision
The courtroom fell into a hush
'Yes sir!' I cried 'after a fashion'
With no way to hide my blush.

Just as I was sure I would crumble
My beloved killer glared at me
All of jurisprudence he humbled
As he became the Powers that Be.


'So, how do you find the defendant'
He asked, 'innocent or guilty?'
The pause was noticeably pregnant
As I pondered my civic duty.

'Eleven of these fine citizens
Voted for the death penalty
But I intend to vote my conscience . .
Killer Eyes, will you marry me?'

Pandemonium shook the courthouse
The defendant winked at me
The prosecution called me a louse
The bailiff set my fiancÚ free.

We eloped to West Virginia
Where they understand this sort of thing
They didn't even 'ooh and ahh'
When we got knives at the wedding.

© 2000 by Michael J. Farrand

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