We all filed into the jury box|
After our long deliberation
I'd dolled myself up like quite the fox
Dressed to kill as the jury foreman.
How he spotted me I cannot say|
Did he glimpse my red mini skirt?
Or perhaps the inadvertent way
I unbuttoned my see-through shirt.
They should have kept an eye on that man|
Like the one he was keeping on me
He was making me his biggest fan
Hoping madly I might set him free.
I didn't think it a hopeless plea|
Despite their mound of evidence
The secret weapon he was using on me
Could prove a masterful defense.
He's got those sweet killer eyes
He never even came near me
But he murdered me with those killer eyes.
They found his bloody murder weapon|
DNA placed him at the scene
He hoped his savior from extinction
Would be the town's biggest drama queen.
I knew if I sent him to death row|
I'd kill off my one chance for romance
If he should die I never would know
The true love they know only in France.
The judge asked if we'd reached a decision|
The courtroom fell into a hush
'Yes sir!' I cried 'after a fashion'
With no way to hide my blush.
Just as I was sure I would crumble|
My beloved killer glared at me
All of jurisprudence he humbled
As he became the Powers that Be.
'So, how do you find the defendant'|
He asked, 'innocent or guilty?'
The pause was noticeably pregnant
As I pondered my civic duty.
'Eleven of these fine citizens|
Voted for the death penalty
But I intend to vote my conscience . .
Killer Eyes, will you marry me?'
Pandemonium shook the courthouse|
The defendant winked at me
The prosecution called me a louse
The bailiff set my fiancÚ free.
We eloped to West Virginia|
Where they understand this sort of thing
They didn't even 'ooh and ahh'
When we got knives at the wedding.