"One Before Last"

When Nixon visited Moscow, he and Khrushchev ran around the Kremlin in a race.

Nixon came in first.

Soviet media reported the results . .

"In the international running competition the General Secretary of the Communist Party took the honorable second place. Mister Nixon came in one before last.”

"Workers of the World . ."

Karl Marx was resurrected and came to the USSR. He was shown factories, hospitals, cities and villages, etc. Finally, he requested to be allowed to make a speech on TV.

The Politburo hesitated as they were afraid he might say something they wouldn't approve. Marx promised he would say only one sentence.

Under this condition, the Politburo agreed.

Karl Marx uttered the following sentence:

"Workers of the world, forgive me."

My Joe Camel Jacket

I do so want to get my Joe Camel jacket as soon as possible, but I don't even know yet how many Camel Cash coupons I need to collect.

1. First, they have to send me a form to fill out and return, with a copy of my driver's license, as proof that I'm of a sufficient age to be smoking legally.
   
2. Then I have to collect enough coupons.

Fortunately I've deputized all of my immediate circle as coupon collectors and so far they're doing an excellent job on my behalf.

I should be bowling by Christmas!!

My Cigarettello

Whenever I pull out a pack of Nat Sherman cigarettes, people get involved, asking questions, wanting one.  I'm told the Cigarettello, my preferred brand, was originally designed for Telly Savalas, back before he did the lollypop routine.

A tobacconist in Charlottesville told me that, so who am I to question.  He's certainly got the sort of tough-guy image I can only one day aspire to achieve . . if I just smoke enough Cigarettellos.

The difference between these and regular American cigarettes, besides the fact that most have filters, is that smoking them puts me into the mind of Sir Walter Raleigh.  I see what he was up to when he converted the entire Western European world to the smoking of this savage weed.

I think because the tobacco's so good, and it doesn't have any additives in it, it takes me ten minutes to smoke one--I don't inhale; I might want to run for President some day--not the 3-4 minutes for your average American cig.  I also don't want one for 30-40 minutes afterwards.  Not like with the standard brands.  They not only have chemicals in them that make them burn faster, they also make you want another one immediately.

"Who loves ya, baby?"

My Favorite Song

Originally written by Leonard Cohen, "Hallelujah" was put into the hands of the gods by Jeff Buckley. Son of "cult songwriter" Tim Buckley, he included it on his 1994 Grace album which was his first full-length release. They say he used to close his live shows with it.

Libran Writers

September 23, 480 B.C. - Euripides (playwright)
September 24, 1896 - F. Scott Fitzgerald (novelist)
September 25, 1897 - William Faulkner (novelist)
September 26, 1888 - T. S. Elliot (poet)
September 27, 1920 - William Conrad (novelist)
September 30, 1924 - Truman Capote (novelist)
October 3, 1900 - Thomas Wolf (novelist)
October 3, 1925 - Gore Vidal (novelist)
October 7, 1849 - James W. Riley (poet)
October 10, 1924 - James Clavell (novelist)
October 10, 1930 - Harold Pinter (playwright)
October 14, 1888 - Katherine Mansfield (short story author)
October 14, 1894 - e. e. cummings (poet)
October 15, 1917 - Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. (historian)
October 16, 1854 - Oscar Wilde (playwright, novelist)
October 16, 1888 - Eugene O'Neill (playwright)
October 17, 1915 - Arthur Miller (playwright)
October 19, 1922 - Jack Anderson (journalist)
October 19, 1931 - John Le Carre (novelist)
October 20, 1854 - Arthur Rimbaud (poet)
October 20, 1926 - Art Buchwald (columnist)

Re-Stringing My Mandoletto

Re-stringing my mandoletto last night at my favorite cafe required help from two musicians, and about three hours.  When I got done I didn't know much to do but hunt about for some good-sounding chords, with visions of performing in Italian restaurants to lovebirds swirling in my head.

Best Advice

The best advice I could give a young man embarking on a new career--do young men ever listen to advice?--besides to read the Albert J. Bernstein books on working office politics to your advantage--could a book really help?--would be to talk to the alumni of the organization he's joining, the guys who have already jumped through the hoops he must jump through. Then take their advice.